Some always get X hours of sleep. Or spend time with their children. Or always meditate. Or publish a blog post every day. But, years ago, I decided to make a rule that I would never, ever go to sleep without cleaning off every speck of makeup. No negotiation. When you refuse to let yourself make them, they shrink. Any time we decide something is non-negotiable, we save time and energy we would have wasted negotiating with ourselves.
We get too hard on ourselves. We think everything can be non-negotiable. Content strategist Farnam Street by day. Essays here sometimes. Unlocking creativity through community. Dedicated to supporting and fostering the creative writing community.
This is a place for compulsive creators, their work, and their stories. An excuse is used to avoid responsibility.
When we shift the blame, we avoid responsibility for a failure, and we also avoid the responsibility for learning from that failure. Excuses stunt our growth. When we make excuses, we tend to convince ourselves that we could not have changed the outcome, and therefore have no need to adapt for the future.
Failure becomes easier to accept in ourselves, and we never grow beyond our current state. The ease in which we make excuses is a window into our character. West Point teaches cadets that excuses are unacceptable for leader. There are reasons for failures.
Circumstances and other people may have played a role in my failures. But my behaviors and my decisions are also part of the equation. Whatever was asked of you, how did you try to get out of it? I know some people will just grit their teeth and do it. Those people deserve ten times the respect they get. Some are more elaborate than others. I knew a kid in school who could throw up on demand. He could just concentrate, cough, and then spew the kind of chunky bile that would dissuade any teacher from giving him an exam.
I lost count of how many times that skill got him out of trouble. I sure have. It has to do with two simple words: reasons and excuses. They both have similar definitions. Most of the time, outside of a scientific context, we use these words interchangeably. For the most part, we understand the meaning behind them. Make no mistake. There is a difference between a reason and an excuse.
A reason is logical, narrow, and concise. It can be understood by anyone with a functioning brain and verified with simple tools. It just has to be valid and clear. Growing up, there were a certain set of chores for which me and my siblings were responsible.
These are some of the possible effects it has on childhood and adulthood. A mother shares her advice on how to talk about losing a child. Here's the definition of alogia, and how poverty of speech may relate to some mental health conditions. Fundamental attribution error is a cognitive pattern that may make it easy to unfairly judge someone's character based on their actions, rather than…. You two may joke or remark every now and then about your appearances, but lately it's more. Body dysmorphic disorder is serious.
Here's how to help if…. Shame is a powerful driving force in many people's lives — and it's often a core issue behind addictions and codependency. Losing your job can have a detrimental effect on your mental and physical health. Learn about how long-term unemployment may affect you. Excuse or Explanation: Is There a Difference?
Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network blogs. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central.
Published on PsychCentral. All rights reserved.
0コメント